12/5/11

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Dec 6




Before I begin this most embarrassing story, I'd like to remind everyone that I am older than I look.


This in fact happened when I had just turned 20.


I was working as a security guard in an office building tower in Florida. It had like 30 floors. The guards were given keys to get into the bathroom as well as other chambers. Well, my security buddy at the time decided he was going to the gas station for some snacks and left me all by myself.


Time passed and he still didn't show. Well, I had to pee. So I went into the building and discovered I couldn't get into the bathrooms. Well, of course not...I didn't have the key.


Well, I certainly wasn't going to go outside and squat behind a bush. I had a reputation to uphold. What if someone saw me?


Next thing I knew, I found myself in the laundry room.


They have these humongous sinks in there, could very well be confused with a tub. There was no one around. It was perfect. A man would do it in my place.


So I dropped my camouflage pants clear to my ankles and climbed on the sink.
In the middle of tinkling, with butt in the sink, I hear a shuffling of feet outside.


Then the door opens.


And the paper guy follows, his eyes as round as saucers.


I hopped off the sink, pulled up my pants, looked him square in the face and said, "Oh, you caught me."


And he got the hell out of there.


Five minutes later, after I had sort of composed myself, I went outside.


My guard buddy was leaning against the car, crying and doubling over with laughter.


The bastard.


And all I could do was laugh with him. I never went back to security after that.
It's probably a good thing.


There you have it. One of my most embarrassing moments. And I do have a few.  See you all on Wednesday for Insecure Writer's Day.

...^-^...

28 comments:

  1. I'm speechless, which is probably a good thing!
    The stories those guys probably told for years...

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  2. Oh, my. You are very brave for sharing that with all of us. Timing is everything, isn't it?

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  3. Wow! *LOL* That was hilarious. I worked as a security guard at that age too. I liked patrolling a large office building at night. The bigwigs had offices at the top with huge windows and telescopes over the looking the harbor. Gorgeous view.

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  4. That is so funny! Oh, how I feel for you.

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  5. Oh my gosh! I love it! I love your reaction the most. I wouldn't have been able to say anything, but you come up with 'You caught me'. Oh my!

    Thanks for participating! You had me knee-slapping :)

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  6. Oh, man. It's so not fair that we have to bare ourselves to the world to take care of our business. My story is an Army horror story. And it has to do with bodily fluid as well. What is it with that?

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  7. HAH! I have tears! That was awesome. :)

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  8. Now that is something I would like to see :).I am sure that paper guy will always remember you :).

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  9. Awesome! Any port in a storm, I say.

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  10. Some of the prime development land, which received approval remained dormant for many years and never realized because of the actions (or inactions) of one or more obstructive landowners

    Rental Property Management

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  11. It hurts. The laughter. But I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at the image that is probably permanently cemented in my mind. OMG. It hurts!

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  12. holy crap!
    a security guard? wow!
    and i'm happy for you it wasnt caught on tape!

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  13. That is hilarious!! I'm loving these posts!

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  14. OH MY. I am still laughing. WOW. But, it's pretty awesome you got up there and balanced without falling off. Lovin' these stories.

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  15. That's classic. And isn't that the way it is--you can't find a damn person until you're in the middle of something like THAT!

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  16. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do! Very funny! I probably won't have gone back either ;)

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  17. I would have tried it too! Men have to too easy! thanks for sharing :)

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  18. wow...that's as funny as the scene in Bridesmaids, only here it is real life. Thank you for sharing. Soo funny. /hugs.

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  19. Oh my gosh. I think I would have gone outside but more power to you woman!

    SO FUNNY!

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  20. I'm paranoid about not having a restroom handy should I need one. I'm not sure what I would have done in that situation. But I do think I wouldn't have let that guy leave the building with the restroom key.

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  21. This is outstanding...you are a brave incredible warrior woman for sharing xx

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  22. That is fantastic!!! Women don't get fair bathroom skills. Great post :)

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  23. I'd cringe, but you told it in a sort of empowering way. ~Mary

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  24. Security guards don't tinkle--they just piss!! LOL

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  25. That is so funny! I don't know if I could have done it, but I'm totally proud of you that you did. Awesome!

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  26. Hahahahaha. That IS AWESOME! And you handled the situation so well.

    Anyhoo, thanks so much for checking out my embarrassing story and commenting on my post. I'm following you now :)

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  27. That is a fabulous embarrassing story! I'm almost jealous that it wasn't mine! But, I must say, you handled it perfectly!

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  28. Oh my gosh, that is a hilarious story. Embarrassing moments build character...haha! Oh my, that really is funny. I totally feel for you...
    :D Funny stuff!

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