Dec 6

Before I begin this most embarrassing story, I'd like to remind everyone that I am older than I look.

This in fact happened when I had just turned 20.

I was working as a security guard in an office building tower in Florida. It had like 30 floors. The guards were given keys to get into the bathroom as well as other chambers. Well, my security buddy at the time decided he was going to the gas station for some snacks and left me all by myself.

Time passed and he still didn't show. Well, I had to pee. So I went into the building and discovered I couldn't get into the bathrooms. Well, of course not...I didn't have the key.

Well, I certainly wasn't going to go outside and squat behind a bush. I had a reputation to uphold. What if someone saw me?

Next thing I knew, I found myself in the laundry room.

They have these humongous sinks in there, could very well be confused with a tub. There was no one around. It was perfect. A man would do it in my place.

So I dropped my camouflage pants clear to my ankles and climbed on the sink.
In the middle of tinkling, with butt in the sink, I hear a shuffling of feet outside.

Then the door opens.

And the paper guy follows, his eyes as round as saucers.

I hopped off the sink, pulled up my pants, looked him square in the face and said, "Oh, you caught me."

And he got the hell out of there.

Five minutes later, after I had sort of composed myself, I went outside.

My guard buddy was leaning against the car, crying and doubling over with laughter.

The bastard.

And all I could do was laugh with him. I never went back to security after that.
It's probably a good thing.

There you have it. One of my most embarrassing moments. And I do have a few.  See you all on Wednesday for Insecure Writer's Day.