9/12/11

TOP OF THE MORNING.


Good morning fellow visionaries on this wonderful journey called life.  I want to start by thanking all of you for all the birthday wishes. (BTW: I’m 4338 in alien years.)  And proud of it.

I’d like to welcome all my new followers.  I spent a few hours Saturday visiting you and getting to know you.  Please email me if you’re following me but I’m not following you.  A whole week without blogging can throw a person off. 

I’m sitting here sipping a glass of red wine on a Sunday, which by the way goes wonderfully with pizza, and reminding myself that this is in fact the last day of my vacation and this post will go public Monday morning.  Soon I’ll be forced to use the left side of my brain.  Whose idea was it that we were only to have two-day weekends?  Ugh, somebody pay me to be on vacation.

Now, if you must know, I’m going to tell you anyway, I went camping.  And at this second I find that I miss communing with nature, reading a good book, cementing my hatred of mosquitoes, and going on long walks.

I survived a whole week away from Blogger and remembered something about myself.  I freaking love life and doing all the physical stuff.  So I’m eliminating my Wednesday posts with the exception of the Insecure Writer’s Group and other special functions.  (Suck it up...I'm still here.)  This should give me more time for blog-hopping, writing, living life, and other stuff.

I will be posting Mondays and Fridays.

On a second note, I learned a few things this week.

  1. Reading does in fact spark creativity.  I read two books.  (Not naming titles.)
The first was a Fantasy.  It had about a hundred characters in it. (Does anyone remember hearing that we should only have a few characters to make it easier for the reader to follow the story?  Yup, still sounds like a load of crap to me.)  Don’t tell me what I can or can’t read.

The second book was a Paranormal Romance.  It started with a prologue.  Yes, I’ll say it again…pro-logue.  Also, it had sex galore.  I mean let-me-slap-you-across-the-face-with-it sex.  (Eat your hearts out agents.)  Worse still, I found myself so annoyed with the constant sex that I skimmed over some of it to read the other parts of the story.  Yes me, I did that.  I must be getting old (4338 doesn’t seem that bad in theory) but heck, these people were going at it like bunnies. (Cute fuzzy critters that have the ability to hop and…never mind.)  Anyway, I’m feeling cheated.  Granted, rules were meant to be broken, but if they’re going to set up literary rules, either apply them to everyone or shut up about it.

  1. Now, before I go any further, I’d like to take a moment to thank Thomas Crapper. (The guy who was credited with inventing indoor plumbing.)  When I got home, lifted the toilet seat cover and there was nothing looking back at me, I felt elated. (Johnny on the Spot be dammed.)  Special recognition to the Chinese for toilet paper.
  1. Next, it has come to my attention that fish have evolved to the point where they use humans for sport.  They’ve obviously been injected with a wonder drug.  Seriously, bluegills have a superior IQ.  They gather in groups around the lure and talk about us.  A teacher fish instructs them in the ways of nipping at a curly tail without swallowing.  They follow the lure around while laughing and calling us “stupid humans.”  Occasionally, they will sacrifice themselves for the sake of a pathetically skinny Earthling.  Needless to say, I didn’t catch a single one.

  1. Finally and most important, there’s always room for a dog on a camping trip.  Not only are they willing to taste my food to ensure I’m not poisoned, (with the exception of wine and chocolate) they will sleep at the foot of the bed to help perfect my night vision when I’m trying to find my way to the bathroom, consume large amounts of grass to teach me the importance of eating greens, and force me to wake up at 6:30AM to pick up their poop while getting some well-needed exercise. 

There.  I hope my words of wisdom have given all of you a reason to wake up in the morning.  I look forward to chatting with all of you.  Wish me luck.  After Monday, today, I might need another vacation.

 EXTRA CREDIT IF YOU READ THIS.

I joined the campaign and there seems to be this challenge thing going around, 200 words of flash fiction and it starts with opening a door.  I'm a Fantasy writer, and I don't normally writer about fairies, but here goes.

                                                     ***                                                                     


The door swung open.  Out walked Aura all dressed for battle.  For years they’d laughed at her wayward ideas and childish antics, not realizing it was all part of her power.  It took a rich level of whimsy to remain strong enough to battle the dream reapers, demons who captured human souls while they slept.  As a fairy trapped in a mortal body she alone possessed the key that would lead her to the underworld where the souls were kept.   

She surveyed the room focusing on all the familiar faces.  “Who’s with me?”

A green man-boy hobbled forward.    He was a Zeleak, a dark fairy forced to squeeze himself inside a fleshy being to repay past mistakes.

“I’m Neffle,” he said.  “I’ll go with you.”

She reached out and took his hand.  “Brave boy, you and I will scour the underworld together and free these people from the tyranny of the Moors.  When we return our debt will be repaid.  We’ll be free to sink into the Earth and become part of nature.”

They walked out.  Silence followed like a flag of truce.  The door closed.

***

                                           My PC insists that was 200 words.

Bloody hell, whose idea was it that I give up Wednesdays anyway?  This makes for a long blog with no pictures.  Hmm, I'll take care of that.


There now.  Don’t hate, pollinate, and when that fails just copulate.  It’s a great stress reliever.

Have a great one, and cheers!   …^-^…

47 comments:

  1. Camping is great but toilet paper is much better than certain other leafy options. I can't endure camping more than 2, 3 days. If you resisted a week wow, you have my admiration.

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  2. Laila, you made me laugh. Thanks for helping me start my day off that way. Sounds like you had a wonderful, refreshing break. I'm going to Disneyland next week and will get to romp with some grandkids I haven't seen in 7 months. I can't wait!

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  3. Great flash piece! I love camping too. We didn't get to go this year because our son is a bit too young. Next year, though. I think we'll need a bigger tent! Thank you for the morning laugh.

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  4. You had a lot to tell us after being gone so long! Glad somebody enjoys camping. My idea of roughing it is a two-star hotel. And your flash fiction was good!

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  5. hee hee.... sounds like you had a nice trip in the great outdoors. I agree, gotta have your dog with you. And yes, coming home to your own bathroom is a joy you never new was possible. lol
    We love camping... it always inspires me to world build.
    I'm down to 2 days a week blogging too... just can't seem to keep up with it all and so behind on blog visits.
    Anyway, great to see you back and I enjoyed your 200 words. Quite fantastical. ;)

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  6. Hi, I like your sense of humor. And great flash fiction story!

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  7. Hi Laila, fantastic blog....sorry i'm only just catching up to you. Thankyou so much for stopping by my blog and introducing yourself. Hopefully get to know you now I have a bit more time....I am in your fantasy group.x

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  8. Love nature....
    Love to go camping.....
    Loved your 200 word opener.....
    But, NO, you can't have my dog!..........kt

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  9. Hello Laila, thanks for stopping by my blog. Glad you liked the castle pic. It's Miranda castle and it's located in Belgium of all places.

    I liked the short fiction. It felt as though you already have a lot more of the story already worked out in your head. Maybe you should expand it?

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  10. I'm a city gal. My idea of communing with nature is being outdoors in Lake Como, Italy enjoying dinner with a view. Capri works too.

    Glad you are taking more time to enjoy life. We should all follow your lead.

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  11. Welcome back, Laila! You were missed. I had to giggle about the too much sex part & I really need something to lift my spirit today. Thanks for that.

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  12. Enjoyed the flash piece.
    I guess I initially find stories with many POVs hard to digest until about the 3rd chapter but lots of charaters as long as they make sense seems fine.

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  13. Let-me-slap-you-across-the-face-with-it sex may be a new genre. I like to camp, something about the fire and getting all funky smelling for a few days brings out my inner warrior princess. Trying to fish with a broadsword is hard, though.

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  14. Your posts are a delight to read, man-boy et al. I've had to cut back on posts too, so I understand. There are just so many hours in a day. It's 9:32 and I've been visiting blogs for almost 2 hours. I've also been on vacation 2 weeks longer than I said I would. We live on a lake, so I camp in my bedroom every night. Yes, that's cheating.

    Love your mind, Laila. Happy Monday!

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  15. Love the name Neffle! Good job on the flashfic, and it was fun reading your post. :)

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  16. You are so funny and still as naughty as ever-"don't hate, pollinate...ahem." Loved your story about your vacation and the 200 word door thing is awesome too. I'd vote except I got locked out somehow. The Chinese invented TP huh?

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  17. Welcome back, Laila! Glad you enjoyed your camping trip.

    Reading sparks my creativity, too. Were you reading George RR Martin? That has about 100 characters in it. I loved it.

    Enjoyed your little story. Definitely want to read more of it.

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  18. I used to enjoy backpacking and camping. Now that I'm old I'm a hotel/resort sort of gal. Glad you enjoyed your week off.

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  19. Great fairy story (and it didn't even mention Elton John)!
    Extra credit for YOU if you can supply the response to someone if they say "Top of the morning" to you.
    Camping is a hoot (and I don't mean just the owls).

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  20. lol! Love the humming bird at the end! Your story was great, really got me thinking :)

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  21. Whew...I love your energy, welcome back! I may not read you every day but will read you each time your blog appears in my dash...whose idea was it to give up wednesday? Have a great week Miss Layla!

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  22. Hey there everyone. I appreciate the compliments to my short excerpt. I owe it all to the demon rum...nah just kidding, it was wine enduced. I try to email my responses to you guys. Unfortunately, not everyone has that email function avaibable, so here I am.

    @Al, aside from the Irish I don't have a clue. I googled. I should have known the Irish part. I'm a 1/4 Irish. Love you guys. Here's to another great week of fishing in my underwear. :)

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  23. Welcome back, Laila! Is that a new display photo thingie? I like it! :) Anyhoo, I loved the flash fiction. I don't normally read about fairies, but I'd so read on in this case. (You gave them purpose in 200 words!) I'm rambling today. *Ahem!* I'm glad you had fun camping! :D

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  24. I enjoyed your take on the challenge. I'm #16, if you want to check it out.

    It's amazing how many books break the rules. I can't believe a YA book has that much sex in it.

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  25. Glad you had fun. Dogs are great camping but you always have to be careful of ticks. Make sure you check those lovely shelties over carefully! Otherwise their next post might be pretty sad. Cheers!

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  26. Welcome back!

    I've never been camping . . . though I would like to do it sometime.

    I really like your flash fiction piece. I hope the characters succeed. :)

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  27. I love camping too. Did the whole "dig your own latrine with a trowel" bit back in my youth (hang on, had they invented trowels then?) but nowadays it's strictly camping for softies.

    BTW...that whole red wine & pizza thing is supposed to be a secret...now everybody will be trying it and it won't be special any more :(

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  28. I'm glad you enjoyed your time camping! That's definitely not what I would choose to relax but to each their own! :) I love your blog - feel like you jive with my reading/writing likes.

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  29. Hey, I stumbled across your blog today and LOVED it! I can't wait to hear more. And I loved your flash fiction story...fairies are always awesome to read about!! Can't wait to hear more!
    Mine's #262 (http://pensuasion.blogspot.com/)

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  30. Does your 4338 alien years means you are just a young whipper-snapper?
    Thanks for the giggles.

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  31. So glad you enjoyed that vacation, and totally understand scaling back the blog posts. I'm planning the same thing.

    And those rules drive me crazy because published authors break them all the time. The only ones expected to abide by them are the writers who aren't published by traditional pubbers... well, the big dogs are turning into dinosaurs, and I think their refusal to read writers -- and making it so difficult to break into the business -- helped create their impending extinction. Many e-pubs were started by frustrated writers. Now they're taking over the world!

    I love your sense of humor! Thanks for the good morning chuckle... don't hate, pollinate.

    Great flash fiction too... and this line is awesome... (just like you): Silence followed like a flag of truce.

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  32. Hello all, especially those I could not email a reply to because I have no clue what your email is.

    @Botanist, you couldn't possibly be that old. And shame on me for revealing our trade secret, but no good wine should go to waste.

    Hi to Liz and SL, will check you out.

    @Doralynn, thanks for all the compliments. Any more blushing and I might have to pull my shirt over my head.

    I'm pretty sure I emailed or visited the rest of you. ...^-^...

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  33. Cool story! I love the idea behind it. Normally I don't say this, but this would be a fascinating longer story.

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  34. I've never been big on the idea of camping. A good hike in the mountains is fun. Maybe a stay in a cabin on occasion. But camping is not for me, I think.

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  35. LOL. You are brave. I hate camping. Sorry folks, I need hot water and indoor plumbing. =) After having three scouts...I'm done.

    Welcome back!

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  36. Ah, camping sounds good right now. Just stopping by from the campaign to say hi! Also, I enjoyed your flash fiction. :)

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  37. Hey Laila, what a lovely little story for the campaign challenge. I love fairies. I don't often write about them either but stil, there's something about fairies that takes me back to my childhood.

    I've given you a Versatile Blogger award. You can check it out on my blog: http://offwithefairies.blogspot.com/2011/09/10-things-you-probably-didnt-want-to.html

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  38. Thank all for stopping by and saying hi. I've been around visiting. Have to work on my post for Friday. Hope everyone is having a wonderful week. :)

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  39. Glad to see you back and enjoying the luxuries of home, Laila. Hope you found some yummy chocolate too.
    xoRobyn

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  40. Welcome back - Everytime I am forced to experience nature I like to use it as a lesson. It reminds me of where we came from, and I believe the mosquitoes are just a taste of the awful things it will do to us if we don't conquer it.

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  41. Welcome back Laila, you were missed. It sounds like your week was a good one. Camping is always a fun adventure and fishing....well, I enjoy it, especially when I have no expectations...I never catch anything. You always make me smile, I'm glad you enjoyed your week, hope this week will treat you well. :)

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  42. Good for you, being able to take a week off, unwind, and have some time reading and being outside in the great outdoors. Loved the flash fic, too. Hope the week is going well!

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  43. Oh my gosh, happy birthday (whenever that was, can't believe I missed it!)!! My birthday is today! And I loved the flash fiction!

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  44. Oh! Happy belated birthday! (Sorry I missed it!) Loved your flash piece!

    Just wanted to drop by and let you know I passed the Versatile Blogger award on to you! Info is here: http://kaykays-corner.blogspot.com/2011/09/im-versatile.html

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  45. I loved your piece! Very well written! :) And happy belated birthday! :)... I hope you enjoyed it.

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